


He's My Desire

by cxnvas



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Male Character, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other, POV Male Character, Reincarnation, Smut, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22258369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxnvas/pseuds/cxnvas
Summary: 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄-  "If I could die, I would do it a million times over for you."His smile, just a tiny little thing, both wrecked and built my existence. It was the beginning of the most beautiful painting known to man, but at the same time the beginning of the most traumatic events that swept the earth. That's the tragedy of reincarnation and immortality - the beginning only marks the end.What happens when eight immortal men fall in love with the same boy through eight different lifetimes? And how well will they be able to deal with the pains of the past, and finding the one that they vowed to love for the rest of their lives?They swore to make an oath of never leaving him behind, and finally sought out to find him. But at what costs will erupt on the journey, and what will happen to the eight hearts locked and kept in one soul?Utter chaos.
Relationships: ATEEZ Ensemble/Reader, Choi Jongho/Reader, Choi San/Reader, Jeong Yunho/Reader, Jung Wooyoung/Reader, Kang Yeosang/Reader, Kim Hongjoong/Reader, Park Seonghwa/Reader, Song Mingi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. PROLOGUE

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

His rapid breathing could be heard from all around the forest, eyes shining in the ever trepidation of what was just chasing on his heels. Leaves blew up into little tornados dancing with the wind all around him, yet he never stopped running, not when he nearly tripped and fell over a stray tree root or almost got caught in the head from the swooping crows. 

He would never stop running, no matter what it took. Because if he stopped he knew the consequences, the harrowing consequences of going against fate.

His whole body shook with the wind, but it carried him through the darkness, emotions as strong as the trees that refused to crash upon the ground from the force of the storm. 

The figure had to keep going, no matter how many leaves or branches tried to hold him back, the God and Goddesses had no reign over him anymore. Their voices could no longer call back at him, he had severed the connection until only a loose thread was left hanging in the air. 

But even that was withered, and the chaos had stripped it away in a burning flame, leaving only ashes in its wake. 

“Stop!” screamed a voice, but he never looked back, only running urging himself to run further and faster. “Come back!” Cried the voice in agony, a ripped wail followed by anguished sobs. But yet he never stopped, not when he could see what was in front of him. 

The end. 

The ending for everything. 

The cliff side never looked more inviting, and it seemed that the storm saw his goal. Rain whipped furiously against his face, the wind whistled in his ears like a freight train, urging him and whispering delicately for him to stop. Finally, he had made it to the edge, and nothing could stop him. 

“Don’t do this!” They, the ones who chased him all through the wet forest terrain, all came into view, breathing heavily as they came from the shadows of the tree line. Yet, even through the rain, the wind, the chaos..

They still looked beautiful. 

Like the Gods themselves, shaped like the most marvellous statues, not an imperfection in sight. 

Maybe that’s why he hated it so much. 

Trembling, he looked down at the golden watch in his hands, feet slowly inching backwards towards the edge. His fingers gently started to unwind the watch, watching the gears turning underneath his fingertips. 

The eight ethereal figures held their breath, slowly going forward as if approaching a frightened animal. 

They were terrified, all of them pleading out with their souls wailing in agony at the sight of the boy in front of them. Maybe this was their punishment. It had to be. 

“To love me..” mumbled the boy softly under his breath as he slowly looked up from the watch, smoothly yet delicately sliding it off his wrist and clutching it in his fist. “..You lost me.” 

Words exchanged, begging heightened, and screaming ensued as events took place faster than the third lightning struck against the ocean cliff. The boy raised his hand, the golden watch hanging from his hand like a limp piece of cloth. 

Fingers loosened, footsteps gained momentum and two things dropped at the same time. The watch fell to the ground, the wind gently carrying it down and laying it down upon the leaves safely, but shattered. 

And the boy to the ocean below, time slowing down as his back met the air, and the wind pushed down all around him. The figures yelled and screamed, crying as they all rushed to the edge, desperately grasping at the hand that was ripped from their own hands, seconds too late. 

“𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘬 (𝘠/𝘯)!”

And then all eight fell into the rain and the wind, the ground leaving their feet as they plummeted after the boy who held all of them as one. Eight immortals were never supposed to fall in love, every ending only finishing with tragedy and longing. 

They wouldn’t let it happen again. Never again would they go through that again. And that was what they all thought as they jumped off of the stormy cliff, letting fate carry them down. Two words echoed through their minds as one, and they clung to it. 

“𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯.”


	2. 𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚

"Do you see the way he moves?" 

"It's like he's dancing with the wind.. How can someone look so graceful?" 

"Seonghee, we are inside a cafe. How can you compare him dancing with the wind?" 

"Just _look!"_

A soft nudge of an elbow from his friend made (Y/n) glance up from his job of frosting a latte, his attention drawn and focused in his special task. He glanced up with a raised eyebrow and a pull of a smirk, only to meet the eyes of his best friend wiggling his own eyebrows teasingly. 

(Y/n) just seemed to know what Jimin was going to say, and could already feel his pre-annoyance kick in. Holding up his hand, (Y/n) finished the latte and reached over, softly dinging the bell to signal that the order was ready. When the customer took their drink gratefully, (Y/n) turned around and looked at Jimin in all his smirking glory. 

"I don't regret recruiting you now," Jimin pointed to the tables that were full with customers, mostly of a female population, who snuck glances at the tall (h/c)netted. When (Y/n) met their eyes, they erupted in ecstatic giggles and their hushed whispers flood the cafe once more. "You always bring in business for me. I should raise your pay for all of your hard work."

"I am glad you only see my face and not my skills, Jimin. I truly appreciate it, with my heart and soul." Sarcasm leaked like water from (Y/n)'s tongue as he walked through the front, preparing a customers lemon macchiato. In retaliation to his attitude, Jimin quickly whipped his butt with a towel like a slingshot, all the while laughing at him. 

"You know I don't mean it like that. You are my only good employee! I should be worshiping your feet!" Jimin exaggerated, dodging a quick smack to his head as (Y/n) attempted to hit him, narrowly escaping over to the cashier. 

Suddenly, a familiar scoff interrupted their banter, and a female with her simple uniform clean and hair tied up in a neat ponytail entered from the back. 

"Sometimes, I swear one of these days I'm going to officially quit. That damn pink haired brat!" She scorned under her breath, glaring heatedly at Jimin's back before flashing a sweet and innocent smile as the man himself looks over his shoulder at her. 

"Aw, you don't mean that, Jennie!" Jimin whined as he rung up a customer's order, his eyes turning into two little half crescents as he grinned. 

Jennie just scoffed, rolling her eyes but yet a small little smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she went over to pull a tray of cupcakes out of the oven. She couldn't stay mad at Jimin. Nobody could stay mad at Jimin. 

He just carried that type of charm, it wasn't a wonder why the cafe rarely got into confrontations. All Park Jimin had to do was flash his bright grin and twinkling eyes, and he could have anybody under his spell. 

It was partially the reason why and how (Y/n) had gotten the job, and was still working there for five years. It was a little peaceful cafe called _Persona_ , just on the corner in the middle of the city of Seoul, safely nestled in between two well known clothing stores. Customers flooded in normally, either to see (Y/n)'a warm smile and handsome features, or to see Jimin's eye smile and cheery greeting. 

Not a lot of people worked at _Persona,_ as it was just a little establishment that flourished despite it's small size. It was a home for many who came, with its friendly ambience and employees who made the stay a tiny piece of home. (Y/n) used to be a regular customer, someone who Jimin wouldn't stop pestering and bugging every single day about taking a position at the cafe. 

After denying profusely for over a whole _year,_ (Y/n) finally gave in and Jimin celebrated like it was the beginning of the new year. (Y/n) had no idea that him accepting the recruitment would make Jimin that joyous - the poor boy even showed up hungover from drinking in celebration the night before, and apologized tremendously to (Y/n). 

In the end, (Y/n) and Jimin grew close, in matter of fact so close that the two were practically now attached at the hip. The two new each others habits, their likes and dislikes - they could even communicate through facial expressions and their eyes!

Jennie often complained about it, and for the longest time thought that the two had been flirting for several months from the communication. She even went to the length of threatening Jimin that if he ever broke (Y/n)'s heart, she would gut his insides out and cook his heart in a stew with his eyeballs. 

Jimin was horrified for the next few weeks after that, always jumping and letting out a little frightened whimper whenever the girl came around. Finally, after seeing it go on for too long, (Y/n) finally had to step in and explain to Jennie that it was just their way of communicating and that it had no underlying flirtatious messages. Jennie was still skeptical but after seeing (Y/n) and Jimin so flustered, she finally understood. 

The three were definitely an interesting trio.

* * *

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Jimin called, and (Y/n) looked over at him from where he was drying some white mugs behind the counter at the sink. Letting out a small little hum to signal that he heard, Jimin went on a while pointing to a table nearby, where one customer sat patiently, scrolling through their phone calmly. 

Nodding, (Y/n) set down the mug and swung the towel onto his shoulder, already spinning his pencil in his hand as the other held his notepad. Going out from behind the counter, (Y/n) made his way past the other tables, skillfully dodging past other customers and tables. 

Going up to a young man dressed in a plain beige shirt and jeans, his only remarkable features was his silver hair and blue silver hues. (Y/n) didn't know if they were contacts or not, and nearly questioned it before stopping himself. He could already hear Jennie's nagging voice in his head, " _oh my god, you can't just ask people why their eyes are blue."_

Plastering on an easy going smile, (Y/n) gives three small taps on his little notepad to signal that he was there, and the handsome stranger looked up. The two connected eyes, and (Y/n) had to stop his mouth from dropping open from how truly gorgeous this man was in front of him. 

_Ethereal._

The man was utterly ethereal, entrancing to the extent that (Y/n) felt like sitting down on the chair across from this stranger and telling him his whole life story then asking for his hand in marriage. That might have been a bit of a stretch, but (Y/n) truly has never seen someone as good looking as the man in front of him. 

"Damn, his eyes." (Y/n) breathed out, before his own eyes widened as the words escaped his mouth before he could stop them. (Y/n) quickly rubbed the back of his ear, mouth fumbling as he tried to regain himself. 

What he didn't notice was that the stranger was just as entranced to (Y/n) as he was to himself. His were wide, shock colouring the pools of silver as his own mouth opened a small fraction. It seemed as if he was going to talk, but (Y/n) was already speaking before he could utter a word. 

"Sorry, sir, what would you like to order? Would you like to try our special today? We have gotten brilliant reviews about it, and it is _Persona'_ s signature item." 

_Bullshit. Persona doesn't have a special! Order a hot chocolate or normal coffee!_ (Y/n) bit on his bottom lip slightly, cursing in his head at the random adlib. 

"A-ah, yes please." 

_Damnit._

"Alright, I will bring it right out! May I ask for your name?" (Y/n) could feel his eyebrow twitch slightly that the man agreed to his suggestion.

Jennie was going to kill him, he could already feel her newly manicured nails - always having a sharp point like claws on the tips - scratching down his throat. 

It was not a pleasant thought, and (Y/n) visibly gulped, but kept his cheery persona on display. 

"It's Hongjoong." The man, now named as Hongjoong, spoke softly, giving a little nod of his head. His misty eyes never left (Y/n)'s own, not once straying even when (Y/n) was visibly fumbling. (Y/n) dare say he seemed amused, entertained at his little distress. 

It made him even more flustered, and (Y/n) quietly uttered a " _thank you,"_ before quickly walking away. He could feel the man's eyes on his back the whole time, and he had to watch himself as he nearly stumbled from nerves into an unsuspecting old woman. Fumbling a flood of apologies, he scurried back behind the counter and to his station, where he fought his inner desire to crouch under the counter in a ball to hide himself from the world. 

Never would (Y/n) have thought that he would be going through a midlife crisis at 22 years old over a boy with pretty eyes!

Slapping a hand to his forehead, (Y/n) wailed out a small groan of despair, grateful to be hidden behind the coffee machines and out of view from customers. Now he was supposed to be making the _special_ that didn't exist! 

"Having troubles?" 

All (Y/n) did was answer with a pitiful whine to Kyungsoo's question, a coworker and close friend. The two went to college together, both majoring in Fashion Design. Kyungsoo was a warm and quiet person who didn't liking putting up with anyone's antics, and looked pretty plain on the outside but very intelligent and judgemental on the inside. It took a lot to get close to him, but (Y/n) and him knew one another in high school after (Y/n) beat someone up for making fun of Kyungsoo for his less-than-average height. The two were close ever since, and Kyungsoo was (Y/n)'s pillar of support, both literally and metaphorically. 

(Y/n) let's out a long, dramatic sigh, and leaned his head against the wall. "I am having all the troubles in the world, Soo. My life has crumbled into my hands and I feel like I'm drowning in a pool of self despair." 

"Seems like a blast. Can you hand me the cream beside your hand?" 

"No, I am not letting you have the cream before I tell you about my life problems!" 

"If you told me all about your life problems, we wouldn't be leaving until dawn. Now hand me the cream so I can fix your mistake." 

Scowling at Kyungsoo's dismissive and brash attitude, (Y/n) moodily hands him the cream cup. He watches as Kyungsoo add's crushed raspberry leaves and chocolate drops into the creamy, coffee substance delicately, full concentration on the drink. His hands are skillful and precise as he adds light foam into the swirls of brown, before finally adding the white cream to make an intricate design of a heart. 

Sliding it across the counter and onto a white dessert plate, Kyungsoo adds the final touch of a few small cherry blossoms that were for their rose gold tea decoration onto the plate. (Y/n) was in awe, (e/c) eyes wide in amazement and disbelief as he looked gingerly over the arrangement and creation. 

"H-how did you kn-" 

"Your notepad said ' _special: SOS_ ' on it, so I just guessed it was one of your problems." Kyungsoo gave a small little shrug of his shoulders, and (Y/n) felt like hugging the life out of him. 

"Thank you, hyung." (Y/n) smiled gleefully, dimmed eyes replaced by a happy and shining light as he picked up the plate and placed it onto a tray. "I owe you an americano." 

Kyungsoo just pointed at him and made a pinkie motion, signaling that he should keep his promise before getting back to work on making new orders. 

Grinning, (Y/n) walked with the tray in his hands towards the table where Hongjoong sat, seeing the boy back on his phone yet wasn't as interested in it as he was before. It looked as if something else occupied his mind and he was just mindlessly scrolling through social media on autopilot. 

Whatever it was, (Y/n) managed to break it when he gently set down the decorated fake special, the grin fading into a lingering smile. "Here you go, _Persona'_ s special." 

Hongjoong perked up from his phone and sat up straighter in his chair, eyes instantly attacking themselves to (Y/n)'s face. It was like his soul revived itself as his silver eyes glinted with a certain light that (Y/n) couldn't help but think was happiness. 

But happiness for what? The raspberry coffee? 

"Thank you!" Hongjoong seemed to be more open than he was previously, gleaming as he lifted the cup to his lips to taste it. A soft and satisfied hum left his lips, and (Y/n) felt proud that he enjoyed it. 

He was gonna have to ask Kyungsoo to make it again if it got such a good reaction, the older would probably be glad. 

"Have a good day, and come again." (Y/n) gave a bow of his head, eyes always lingering on Hongjoong's own, never feeling that same first entrancement leave him. It took every will within him to turn around and walk away, and only when he was halfway to the counter of the cafe did he look over his shoulder to spare one last glance to the ethereal boy who sat by the window. 

What met his eyes was nothing except the tiny dessert plate and falling cherry blossoms littered on the chair where Hongjoong once sat, the boy no longer in sight. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am so excited to start this new story. I never see Ateez reader inserts, especially ones of male reader insert (which goes for just about any fanfiction). I really wanted to write something different, and I thought that this would be something fun to write!
> 
> I know this may not seem very exciting at first or is not that well written, but please do not worry! It will get better in the future as I write more chapters and get more into the plot. Chapters will be given out quite a bit this week yet official updates will be sporadic! I don't have a set schedule yet but hopefully in the future I will. 
> 
> Thank you so much for supporting the story, and I hope you stay along for the journey!


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